Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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