i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I skipped work to stalk him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
