so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
