just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
