Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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