when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
