it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
