Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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