you're like a bully in the Christmas story
pop tarts are not kleenex
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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