What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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