Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
