I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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