It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
