You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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