I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My dick has a subreddit
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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