this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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