Swine flu. Run for my life!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize