Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
