Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
