Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
