: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
