u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
