Ambien. No doubt about it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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