You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
