Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize