I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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