I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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