I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
