it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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