Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize