APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
