so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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