We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
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Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize