Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
