census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
