I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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