whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
