she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
