you would pick up someone in the library
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
40s are totally the cure
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
