there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
