her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize