CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
