There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
