Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
