Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
