It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
