This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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