pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
