I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
