I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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