My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
