Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
