Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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