I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
