There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
