Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
