that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize