suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
