well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
