she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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