Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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