it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
