The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
